BALD MEN
(lyrics by Christine Lavin)
I don't like men who exaggerate
about the places they've been
about the money they've made
I like a man who's honest and true
You can look him in the eye
When he's talking to you
I like men who accept who they are
Not everyone can look like a movie star
If you can follow this thought
to it's logical end
You can see why I like bald-headed men
. . . ooh, I like bald-headed men
Everyone knows that it's testosterone
that turns bushy-haired men into a chrome dome
But testosterone is what makes a man a man
The more that he's got the more that he can
Do the things that make the women go "Oy!"
I'll take the bald-headed man over a big-haired boy
Big-haired boys make very good friends
But they cannot compare to bald-headed men
I've said it before
I'll say it again
I like bald-headed men
So why did you waste your money
joining that hair club for guys?
Oh, why would you cover your manly badge of honor
with such a bad disguise?
Oh, why would you throw away money on Rogaine and Minoxidil?
When all they can guarantee are years and years of pharmacy bills
. . . please don't do it!
I believe the hair replacement industry for men
is like the cosmetic industry for women
A giant black hole that will suck your money away
for the rest of your life
. . . please don't do it!
No matter how you fight it, time marches on
Some new things appear, some old things are gone
Let it move - - it's a natural thing
Like a leaf on a tree or a bird on a wing
Try looking in your mirror from a whole different place
You're not losing hair, you're gaining face
Be confident! Be cool! It won't be long when
You are bound to be one of the bald-headed men
Said it before
I'll say it again
I love bald-headed men
Still more lyrics from the realm of the Dangerous Housewife . . .
Good
Thing He Can't Read My Mind
