The Realm of the
DANGEROUS HOUSEWIFE
by Galia Berry
©1996, All Rights Reserved
Three years ago, my son became an innocent victim of a
vicious crime. Fortunately, he recovered fully. But my life
was forever changed.
I needed a way to deal with the anger I felt that was a result of his being
victimized. I desperately wanted to understand our judicial system gone
haywire, which allows repeat offenders to prey upon innocents again and
again.
I began visiting our courthouse, sitting for several days in various courtrooms,
both juvenile and adult criminal court. I got to know which judges, state's
attorneys, and public defenders were most effective, and which were inept
or, typically, "burned out" due to case overload. I watched the
bewilderment of victims, feeling so sure that their attackers would be
punished, only to be disillusioned and devastated by lenient or non-exisiting
sentencing of criminals.
I became a witness advocate, helping to guide innocent victims of violent
crime through the judicial process. I made contact with the bureaucracy,
ensuring that the families would know exactly when the criminal would appear
before the court, whether for an indictment, arraignment, or trial. I ensured
that groups of people - - friends, neighbors, businessmen - - would be
sitting in that courtroom, to let the criminal, the judge, and the attorneys
know that we were watching, and we weren't going to let them get away with
the minimum. I had my life threatened by one perpetrator as a result of
my interaction.
As a result of my involvement with the court system, I realized that the
judicial system was no longer able to protect me after a crime took place,
since more often than not, the criminal would be back on the street within
a very short time. And the police could not realistically be there for
me every moment of every day, so it would only be luck if they were around
when a crime took place against my person.
I knew nothing about guns. I tried checking out books from the library
which would give both pros and cons of gun ownership. My library carried
firearms handbooks that had technical information that was meaningless
to me, although there were plenty of "politically correct" anti-gun
books there for me to read.
But somehow the idea of buying a gun out of panic didn't appeal to me;
I felt that I would probably make the wrong choice of firearm, and my lack
of confidence would actually be dangerous. I enrolled in an NRA Personal
Protection course, and then a Basic Marksmanship course. It was not a be-all
or end-all, but provided me the tools and beginning skills to make a rational
choice. That choice was to purchase a gun, and maintain my shooting skills
by practicing regularly.
As I became more involved with shooting, I realized just how little I knew.
I decided to enroll in the "Cadillac" of shooting courses, Lethal
Force Institute, given by Massad Ayoob. It was a ladies-only course, given
in conjunction with Tugs 'N Thugs. It was a life-changing experience for
me. There were many survivors there of rape, assault, and wife battering.
Their stories will always haunt me.
I have become frustrated with many women's sense of utter powerlessness.
If I learned anything at the above courses, it is that you don't have to
become a victim, but first, you must refuse to become one.
Many women aren't emotionally ready to even think about handgun
ownership, but they are anxious to know what their options are when it
comes to being less vulnerable to the predators out there. I can't change
what happened to a woman in the past, but with knowlege, awareness, the
proper tools and skills, a woman can change her status from
that of a "victim" into a "survivor."